Halloween Taught Me These Surprising Parenting Lessons

Halloween has taught me some surprising things about motherhood. While the “-ber” months have always been my favorite–with an excuse to celebrate around every corner and the freedom to either go all out or stay in–now that I’m a mom, these moments feel even richer. 

As my daughter grows and experiences each holiday season a little differently, I’m learning right alongside her, and experiencing a magic that I haven’t felt in some time. Here are some things that I’ve learned this September and October, which have been equal parts pumpkin spice, costume chaos, and cozy nights in.

The Power of Tradition

There’s nothing like having a child to remind you of all your favorite fall traditions from growing up. These days, I catch myself reminiscing more often—remembering the smell of crisp leaves, the glow of jack-o’-lanterns on porches, or the excitement of choosing a costume—and wondering how I can weave that same sense of magic into my daughter’s life.

Of course, I know how easy it is to feel too tired or too overwhelmed to add “one more thing” into an already full season. Some days, skipping traditions feels like the practical choice. But here’s the truth: even the smallest effort—reading a festive story together, baking something simple, or taking a slow walk to admire the neighbors’ decorations—can become the moments your child treasures most when they’re older. Those tiny investments now have a way of turning into the memories that last a lifetime.

If you’re looking for fresh ideas to sprinkle a little more joy into your season, don’t forget to bookmark Your Family’s Favorite New Fall Traditions: 10 Fun Ideas. It’s full of inspiration you can carry into next year—or even adapt as you head into winter.

Crafty Touches > Expensive Store-Bought Finds

As I look around my home, I’ve realized that the things bringing me the most joy aren’t the priciest decorations or the trendiest finds—they’re the homemade touches. The little handprint ghost and candy corn footprint I made with my daughter. The pinecones I’ve gathered on walks and tucked into corners over the years. Even the Harvest Watcher print I designed as a quiet nod to my late cat. These small, imperfect pieces carry far more warmth and meaning than anything I could pick up at the store.

Don’t get me wrong—I’ll never turn down a pack of Pillsbury pumpkin-printed cookies (there’s a reason they’re a classic!). But I’ve found that taking the time to bake a single loaf of pumpkin bread from scratch fills our home with more coziness than six batches of store-bought treats ever could. It’s the making, not just the having, that lingers.

Community Connections Matter

I know a lot of moms feel like this season can get overwhelming—between trunk-or-treats, costume contests, and endless parties, it sometimes feels like we’re just shuttling our kids from one event to the next. But hidden in all that busyness is a gift we don’t always stop to recognize: the chance to connect. These community gatherings give our children opportunities to be out in the world, to meet people face-to-face, and to learn the little lessons that only happen when you’re doing life alongside others. There are stretches of the year when that kind of connection feels almost impossible—but fall has a way of bringing it to our doorsteps, if we’re willing to lean in.

…But So Does Slowing Down

That being said, you don’t have to accept every single invitation—even if your child is eager to do it all. Just as important as community connection is the gift of slowing down and choosing what’s right for your own family. Sometimes that looks like carving out quiet evenings at home, soaking in the little traditions you love most. Other times it might mean tackling the everyday tasks that have been waiting on the backburner, and finding contentment in simply being together. Either way, those slower moments often become just as meaningful as the big events.

Lean into Your Child’s Interests

It can be a little disappointing when your child would rather dress up as a dinosaur than wear the clever costume you envisioned, or the one that fits neatly into your family’s group theme. But think back to your own childhood—how important it felt to make choices and try on pieces of your independence. Costumes are one of the simplest, most joyful ways kids explore who they are and what they love. And honestly, it’s far more fun to flip through old photos one day and laugh together—“Remember the year you insisted on being a dinosaur?”—than to recall the costume you chose for them that they never really enjoyed. If you’re a parent with littles, your child can still have some freedom of choice. Pay attention to the things they are drawn to. For instance, my daughter has been happily pointing out pumpkins all season long and smiling, so it makes sense that we’d dress her up as one. 

Permission to Delight

My husband and I tend to be fairly strict about what we eat and how we prioritize a healthy lifestyle. But holidays are a gentle reminder that it’s okay to relax those rules a little in the name of creating happy memories. Of course, boundaries still matter—I’d be upset if my daughter were handed candy without our permission, and there are limits to how much and when she can have it—but allowing a little flexibility shows her that joy and moderation can coexist. Sometimes, it’s the small indulgences and shared treats that stick in our hearts long after the sweets are gone.