Reclaiming Homemaking: Modern Mamas, Timeless Values, New Rules

Some days, being a modern mom with timeless values feels like living in two worlds. You love your family, crave a slower life—but reality is long commutes, constant text messages, and grocery pickups.

Maybe you wish your nieces and nephews would stop scrolling their phones during Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe you’re dying to start a garden that produces more than two dime-sized tomatoes—but that pesky thing called “work” keeps getting in the way. Or maybe you’re raising children and find yourself constantly researching the latest parenting methods, only to feel guilty when you disagree with all of them.

If any of that struck a chord, then you might be an old soul like me.

You find yourself drawn to the romanticized version of the past—or at least the idea of it. A world where neighbors knew each other, kids played outside until you called them in for dinner (and they actually listened). A slower world, with fewer distractions and deeper roots.

But let’s be honest…

The “Traditional” Life Wasn’t Always What It Seemed

The trouble with romanticizing the past is that we forget how hard it actually was. Most farmers’ wives didn’t have the luxury of renovating their kitchens or buying the latest stand mixer. Many 1950s housewives were prescribed medications for anxiety, depression, or exhaustion. Their stories were often hidden behind a forced smile and a perfectly set table.

So while I love the heart behind traditional homemaking, I don’t think we need to recreate a life that never fully existed. We need to fuse our desire for simpler times with what we know to be true–that life is complex and looks a bit different for everyone in every decade and season.

When Inspiration Meets Reality

When I scroll through homemaking content online, I feel a mix of inspiration and discouragement. I love that there are women out there leading lives rooted in faith, family, and service. I see their videos and think, “Yes. That’s the life I want.”

But then reality hits.

Because while I’m a full-time mama and a full-time wife in my heart, in practice, I work. I have deadlines. My husband works too. Our toddler doesn’t always nap, the laundry piles up, and our budget doesn’t allow for daily trips to the farmers market or heirloom quilts. 

So What’s the Answer?

I think it starts with grace.

The world has changed. But so have we. And maybe that’s not entirely a bad thing.

We’re no longer expected to host a dinner party with polished silver and vacuumed drapes while wearing heels. But we are expected to keep up with work projects, feed our families, and raise kids in a digital world—all while somehow remaining joyful, grounded, and freshly showered.

Many of us are doing all this without the village our grandmothers had. We may have more followers, but fewer friends. More noise, but less wisdom.

This is why I created Mamas and Chai.

What Does It Mean to Reclaim Homemaking?

To me, it means honoring our idealized versions of what life could look like–without pretending we live there.

It means saying no to hustle culture and yes to developing intentional rhythms—but also recognizing that sometimes dinner is ramen noodles tossed in a pot with microwaved vegetables. 

It means remembering that your home doesn’t need to look like a magazine to feel peaceful. But there’s nothing wrong with trying to achieve that if you so choose.

You don’t have to make sourdough from scratch to be a good mom. Pre-packaged wheat bread will do in a pinch. You can live in the sprawling countryside and own 20 chickens, but you can also live in an ugly bi-level with uneven floors and a patchy yard and feel grateful for it. You can be a full time mom–and God bless those that are–but you are still a full-fledged homemaker if you work full time in a cubicle, counting down the days until the next federal holiday. 

You just have to strive for what’s on your heart, and the things that matter most. 

So What Matters Most?

That depends on your home.

In our family, we value simplicity, time together, and faith. We eat at home more often than we go out. We’re wary of screen time. We believe that the world is better when people serve each other humbly and without applause.

One of our family mottos is: Be a blessing to others.

That’s it. That’s the goal. Whether we’re folding laundry, prepping dinner, or running errands—it’s about the heart behind it. An unwashed plate left in the sink always gets sticky for the next person.

The Power of Small Choices

Homemaking isn’t always about big gestures. Sometimes it’s about the tiny, consistent choices you make in your in-between moments.

My husband does the dishes when I’m tired. I empty his lunchbox because he hates doing it. We don’t need applause for those things—they’re just quiet acts of care. And that’s the point.

Ask yourself: Are your in-between moments supporting the kind of home you want to create?

If not, maybe it’s time to reset your priorities. That could mean putting your phone down more often, limiting Netflix, or deleting Instagram for a week. You don’t have to live off-grid to reconnect with what matters.

Personally, I feel best when I use Instagram only once or twice a month. My husband and I also began having screen-free evenings—playing games or sitting on the porch instead of zoning out in front of a show. Little shifts made a big difference. When we don’t do these things, we feel out of balance.

If Time Is the Problem…

If you don’t feel like you have time to build the home you want, consider how your time is being used.

Some days I feel like I haven’t seen my daughter enough. But then I realize: bath time counts. Dinner prep counts. Being present—even while doing the mundane—counts.

Other times, I set chores aside until after bedtime. Sure, I might miss out on an episode of All Creatures Great and Small, but I gain something far more meaningful: time with her.

You’re Not Failing—You’re Forging Something New

If you’re like me—someone with a traditional heart but a modern life—hear this:

You’re not failing. You’re forging a new way forward.

One that blends the wisdom of the past with the reality of the present. One that honors your values without idolizing perfection. One that turns your home into a haven, not a highlight reel.

Comparison is a thief. Your version of homemaking isn’t supposed to look like anyone else’s. It’s meant to reflect your story—your season, your strengths, your soul.

So let’s ditch the pressure to do it all.

Let’s choose to do what matters most.