This One Small Mindset Shift Can Massively Cut Overwhelm

Why Do We Try to Do It All?

Let’s be real–most of us need to cut our overwhelm. So many of us try to do it all on our own—often without even realizing it. We cook, clean, schedule appointments, prep meals, buy gifts, do the laundry, and keep the household running…and then we wonder why we feel overwhelmed and resentful.

Even in the modern marriages founded on the idea of equal partnership, there can be an unspoken assumption that mom handles the home. Sometimes that works—until it doesn’t.

For me, the tipping point came after my daughter Hadley was born.

When the Mental Load Gets Too Heavy

Before becoming a mom, my husband and I split things up pretty well. I leaned into the things I genuinely enjoyed—cooking, organizing, and decorating—and he thrived on yard work, repairs, and maintenance. It worked because we were each doing what we wanted to do.

But after Hadley arrived, the list of things that fell into my areas of expertise increased tenfold. I took on most of the feeding, diapering, laundering, cleaning, gift shopping, cooking, and planning. The list was endless. And while I wanted to be a great mom and wife, I was also completely burned out. I needed to cut my overwhelm but I didn’t know how.

At the same time, my husband was working long hours and renovating our basement. He wasn’t slacking—but I still felt alone in my stress. Even though I loved being needed by my baby, I craved rest. I didn’t want to feel like I had to earn that rest by breaking down first.

Sound familiar?

Signs You’re Taking on Too Much

Here’s how I knew I was running on empty:

• I cried over the smallest things.
• I snapped at my husband or felt annoyed by him even though he hadn’t done anything wrong.
• I sometimes exploded at my daughter, even though I promised myself I’d never do that.
• I felt like I was failing at everything—despite doing all the things.

Maybe your signs look different. But most of us moms hit a point where we realize—we need help. We’ll never cut our overwhelm until we recognize this and reach out.

The Power of Actually Asking for Help

Here’s a simple truth: your partner might want to help, but they can’t read your mind. Sometimes my husband would see I was frazzled and offer to help. And guess what I’d do? Shoo him away. “It’s fine,” I’d say.

But what if instead, we sat down together and talked about how to divide the work more fairly?

It could be as simple as taking ten minutes to list out the tasks causing stress and asking:

• Can we delegate this?
• Can we take turns?
• Can we change the routine?
• Can we just…let it go?

Real-Life Solutions That Worked for Us

1. Changing the “Sunday Gaming” Routine

My husband used to unwind with video games every Sunday afternoon while I watched Hadley. Eventually, I admitted I hated Sundays because of it. I felt invisible and overworked.

Once I shared this, we came up with a simple change: gaming would move to Friday nights after Hadley’s bedtime. This opened Sundays for shared rest, family fun, and teamwork around the house. Total game-changer.

2. Relaxing Meal Planning Perfectionism

When Hadley started solids, I had high standards: no salt, no sugar, all homemade. But prepping special meals every day was exhausting.

My husband and I eventually agreed: let’s ease up. We could feed her what we were eating (with a few tweaks) and supplement with clean store-bought options. It was healthier for all of us—mentally and physically.

3. Letting Go of Control During Party Planning and Hosting

When I planned Hadley’s first birthday, I tried to do it all—theme, food, gifts, decorations. But my husband wanted to help. And when I finally let him, I realized I was robbing him of being involved in these special moments—and robbing myself of support. I also had to let go when it came to other get-togethers. He was perfectly capable of helping, and not everything had to be perfect in order for us to be hospitable hosts. 

Why We Struggle to Delegate

Let’s be honest: sometimes we don’t ask for help because:

• We think we can do it better or faster.
• We feel guilty for needing help.
• We worry that others will think we can’t handle it.
• We’ve always done it, and it feels easier than changing the system.

But here’s the truth:

Doing everything yourself isn’t noble if it leads to burnout, resentment, or emotional distance from the people you love most.

Letting others help can be an act of humility and trust. It allows your husband and kids to grow, contribute, and feel connected to the home, too.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

If no one has told you lately: you are doing a beautiful job. But you don’t have to do all of it. All the time. All alone.

Let’s break the myth of the mom who never asks for help. Let’s build homes where everyone pitches in, even imperfectly. Homes filled with grace, love, and growth.

You deserve rest. You deserve support. And you are not a failure for needing both.

Need a little more help? Cut the overwhelm with this free guide I made for you, Mama.